IELTS Task 2Discussion EssayBand 6.5 Sample

IELTS Task 2 Crime Essay Sample with Band 8 Rewrite

Read a sample IELTS Task 2 essay on crime and punishment with AI evaluation and Band 8 improved version. Learn how to discuss criminal justice and rehabilitation.

IELTS Question

Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others believe there are better ways to reduce crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Sample Essay (Band 6.5)

248 words

Crime is a big problem in many countries. Some people believe that longer prison sentences will reduce crime, but others think there are better methods. In this essay, I will discuss both views and give my opinion. On one hand, longer prison sentences can help reduce crime. When criminals spend more time in prison, they cannot commit crimes during that period. Also, long sentences can scare other people and stop them from doing illegal things. For example, if someone knows they will go to prison for 20 years for robbery, they might not do it. On the other hand, there are other ways to reduce crime that might be more effective. First, governments can spend more money on education. When young people have good education and job opportunities, they are less likely to become criminals. Second, rehabilitation programs in prison can help criminals learn new skills and become good members of society. Third, reducing poverty can also help because many crimes are committed by people who need money. In my opinion, both approaches are needed. Serious criminals should receive long sentences to protect society. But for less serious crimes, rehabilitation and prevention are more important. We should try to address the root causes of crime like poverty and lack of education. In conclusion, while longer prison sentences can deter some criminals, addressing the underlying causes of crime through education and social programs is equally important. A balanced approach would be most effective in reducing crime.

AI Evaluation

Overall Band Score

6.5

Score Breakdown

Task Response7.0
Coherence & Cohesion6.5
Lexical Resource6.0
Grammatical Range6.5

Examiner Feedback

Both views are discussed clearly and the opinion is well-expressed. The structure is logical. However, vocabulary is limited and arguments could be supported with more specific evidence or examples.

Band 8 Improved Version

Vocabulary

  • "big problem" → "continues to generate vigorous debate"
  • "scare other people" → "deterrence hypothesis"
  • "become good members of society" → "reduces recidivism rates"
  • "the root causes" → "structural factors that precipitate criminal behaviour"

Grammar

  • Simple sentences → Academic passive constructions
  • Basic conditionals → Subjunctive and modal structures
  • Limited clause types → Relative, adverbial, and noun clauses

Structure

  • General claims → Comparative statistics (Norway vs. US)
  • Vague examples → Specific research findings and cost-benefit data
  • Simple opinion → Evidence-based policy recommendation
Band 8+ Essay302 words

The question of how to most effectively reduce crime rates continues to generate vigorous debate among policymakers and criminologists. While some advocate for extended incarceration as the primary deterrent, others contend that addressing the root causes of criminal behaviour yields more sustainable reductions in offending. This essay will examine both perspectives before presenting a reasoned conclusion. Proponents of longer sentences advance several arguments in favour of incapacitation and deterrence. The incapacitation effect is straightforward: individuals cannot commit crimes against the general public while imprisoned. Additionally, the deterrence hypothesis suggests that severe penalties discourage potential offenders by increasing the perceived costs of criminal behaviour. Countries such as Singapore, which implements harsh sentences including corporal punishment, do exhibit relatively low crime rates, lending some empirical support to this position. However, substantial evidence suggests that punitive approaches alone are insufficient and may be counterproductive. Research from the Norwegian correctional system, which emphasises rehabilitation over punishment, demonstrates that recidivism rates can be reduced to approximately 20%—compared to roughly 76% in the United States, where sentences are considerably longer. Furthermore, addressing socioeconomic factors such as poverty, educational inequality, and substance abuse has proven effective in preventing individuals from entering the criminal justice system initially. Investment in early childhood intervention programmes, for instance, has demonstrated returns of up to $7 for every dollar spent in reduced criminal justice costs. The evidence suggests that an integrated approach combining appropriate punishment with meaningful rehabilitation and preventive measures offers the most promising path forward. While public protection necessitates that dangerous offenders be incarcerated, excessive reliance on lengthy sentences without rehabilitation merely delays reoffending while incurring substantial public expenditure. In conclusion, effective crime reduction requires a nuanced strategy that balances accountability with rehabilitation and addresses the structural factors that precipitate criminal behaviour. Neither extreme—abolishing imprisonment nor relying exclusively upon it—represents sound policy.

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