IELTS Task 2 Environment Essay Sample with Band 8 Rewrite
Read a sample IELTS Task 2 essay on environmental protection with AI evaluation and Band 8 improved version. Learn how to write about climate change and sustainability.
IELTS Question
Some people believe that governments should invest more in renewable energy sources rather than fossil fuels. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Essay (Band 6.5)
Nowadays, energy is very important for our life. Some people think governments should spend more money on renewable energy like solar and wind power instead of oil and coal. I agree with this opinion because renewable energy is better for the environment and can help the economy. First of all, renewable energy is good for the environment. Fossil fuels like oil and coal create pollution and cause global warming. If we use more solar and wind power, we can reduce carbon emissions and protect the planet. Many scientists say climate change is a big problem, so we need to act now. Secondly, investing in renewable energy can create many jobs. The renewable energy industry is growing fast and needs many workers. This can help reduce unemployment and boost the economy. Countries like Germany and China have already created millions of jobs in this sector. However, some people argue that fossil fuels are cheaper and more reliable. They say renewable energy is too expensive and cannot provide enough power for everyone. While this may be true now, technology is improving and costs are going down. In conclusion, I strongly believe governments should invest more in renewable energy. It is better for the environment and can create economic benefits. Although there are some challenges, the long-term advantages are clear.
AI Evaluation
Overall Band Score
6.5
Score Breakdown
Examiner Feedback
The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position. Ideas are organized logically with basic paragraphing. However, vocabulary is somewhat limited and repetitive. Grammar is generally accurate but lacks complex structures.
Band 8 Improved Version
Vocabulary
- →"very important" → "increasingly pertinent"
- →"good for the environment" → "environmental preservation"
- →"create many jobs" → "employs over 12 million people globally"
- →"going down" → "declined by 89%"
Grammar
- →Simple sentences → Complex structures with subordinate clauses
- →Basic connectors → Sophisticated transitions (Moreover, Admittedly, In contrast)
- →Active voice variety → Strategic use of passive constructions
Structure
- →Generic examples → Specific data and statistics
- →Weak concession → Strong counter-argument with rebuttal
- →Simple conclusion → Synthesizing conclusion with forward-looking statement
The question of whether governments should prioritise investment in renewable energy over fossil fuels has become increasingly pertinent in the context of accelerating climate change. I firmly believe that a decisive shift towards sustainable energy sources is not merely advisable but imperative for both environmental preservation and long-term economic prosperity. The environmental case for renewable energy investment is compelling and well-documented. Fossil fuel combustion remains the primary driver of anthropogenic carbon emissions, contributing approximately 75% of global greenhouse gases. In contrast, solar and wind power generate electricity with negligible carbon footprints once infrastructure is established. Nations that have aggressively pursued renewable energy transitions, such as Denmark and Costa Rica, have demonstrated that substantial emissions reductions are achievable within a single generation. Beyond environmental considerations, the economic argument for renewable investment has strengthened considerably. The International Renewable Energy Agency reports that the sector now employs over 12 million people globally, with projections suggesting this figure could triple by 2050. Moreover, the levelised cost of solar electricity has declined by 89% since 2010, rendering it cheaper than coal in most markets. Countries that establish early leadership in clean energy technology stand to capture significant competitive advantages in emerging global markets. Admittedly, the transition presents genuine challenges, including intermittency issues and the need for grid modernisation. However, advances in battery storage technology and smart grid systems are rapidly addressing these limitations, while the external costs of fossil fuels—healthcare expenditure, environmental remediation, and climate adaptation—far exceed any short-term savings from maintaining the status quo. In conclusion, the convergence of environmental necessity and economic opportunity creates an overwhelming case for governmental investment in renewable energy. The question is no longer whether to transition but how rapidly this transformation can be achieved.
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